I guess that in all fairness to bad drivers I should pick on some others so: To all those people who use buggys incorrectly in 1) Grocery Stores or 2) WalMart, this one is for you.

 

Lady Jen's Shopping Cart Etiquette

 

1.  When parking your buggy in an aisle pull as close to the display as possible to allow other people to pass.  Let me give you a scale of appropriate parking behaviour.  If no one can get through the aisle, you have parked incorrectly and the buggy police wil be out to tow you.  If an individual walking can get through, you have parked poorly and will be ticketed sufficiently.  If another buggy can get through, congratulations you have mastered shopping cart parking and can move on to the next lesson.

 

1.b.  After parking your cart, do not use your body to block the remainder of the aisle.  If you are looking at something on the right, politely park your car to the right just beyond where you are looking and then step back to where you wanted to be.  This will save room for others to get through the aisle and it will save you from having something thrown at you by the person who desperately wants to get by your large rear end*  

 

2.  When pulling out of your parking space look to your right or left (depending on where you are parked) as well as behind you.  Do not just start going.  You are not the queen of the world and have no right to treat yourself as such. 

 

3.  Although there are no posted buggy speed limits those pushing their carts at breakneck speed and not stopping at intersections to see if they are about to RAM someone with their cart are driving recklessly and will be punished.  If you have been in a shopping cart accident before I am looking at you.  If you have ever run over someone with your cart, SHAME ON YOU.  Use your common sense and drive at a speed that is appropriate for a crowded aisle.  If you want to motor, skip the cart; dodging in and out of other carts and cutting through departments that a cart cannot get through will get you to your destination much faster than an accident will.

 

4.  Riding the invisible middle line in an aisle is a no no.  Treat an aisle as you would a roadway.  Imagine that there is opposing traffic coming at you, you wouldn't be so quick to take your car over the centre line would you? 

 

5.  DO NOT leave your shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot.  How would you like it if you went to turn into a space in your expensive car only to hit a shopping cart that some inconsiderate buffoon left hidden?  Don't be stupid.  Your legs are clearly not broken for you have just pushed that same cart around a store for an hour, so walk it back to the appropriate location.

   

Well, that is a start ... make no mistake that is not the extent of your violations and if you recognize your own behaviour and correct it before I go Boondock on you.

 

REMEMBER, a buggy is a privilege, not a right.  

 

*profanity avoided